b(ou/ri)quet

the bouquet has been laying in front of my apartment door for God-knows-how-long, waiting for me to pick it up. i frown. it's not a normal bouquet. the roses are pitch black, and there's no hint of the sender.
"he's dead."
i turn my head, quite surprised to see the girl next door is standing beside me. i mean, we rarely meet nor talk.
"dead? who-?"
"you know, your best friend who always visits you until like a month ago?"
the bouquet slipped out of my hands. "what do you mean? you're lying, aren't you?"
i feel my heart races. me and my best friend, we aren't in a good term, i've been avoiding him since a month ago. what happened?
"oh i wish i was lying, dear. but i didn't. i saw him putting the bouquet there last night, his face was so blue that it hurted me. i noticed that he also brought a briquet with him."
"no, you're wrong. he would never-" never done what? something's breaking inside me. my whole body starts to tremble. a briquet in this summer weather?
without giving me a break, my neighbour hands me her phone.
'a man was found dead because of carbon monoxide poisoning', the news says, placing the face i've known my entire life below that sentence.
that's it. i can no longer see anything. my world is crumbling and i'm drowning into a pool of pitch black roses.

avia maulidina,
december 18 2017
p.s. farewell, kim jonghyun.